Two

It's new year, time for new things;

new clothes,

new books,

new music,

new friends,

new blog,

new love...

New Love?

what about old love? I don't let things go easily, and to be fair it hasn't been easy. But I think it's gone, the love I had; old and broken... It's completely gone.

I only realised this yesterday. I sat on the train to uni, nose in book and ipod singing away to me, waiting to leave the station. When who should walk by, but Him and his girl. It was odd, my stomach didn't do the whole "Oh Dear God" moment, where I feel that it's going to run up my throat and out my mouth, instead it just sat there. I buried my head in my sailor coat, my new-year-self resembles nothing of the giggling 15 year old he once knew, and i know nothing of his duffle coat and skinny jeans.

There is no love here. And that... I loved. To be able to continue reading, to be able to eat for the rest of the day and not pine after something old and gone. I felt weightless as I sat and pondered who he was now. Until my book pulled me back into the world of Geneva and the man and his mistress.

New love?

Is it possible? I don't think so, not yet... But for now I'm quite happy to go on as we are, to want to see him and know everything there is to know about him... this new Him.

Today he walked to meet me after the train, and held my hand as he walked cheerfully and I slid happily the whole way home. My mouth mumbled on and on as we walked and slid, and I liked being able to hush my mumble and hear his low complaints about anything and everything.

Old love.

This song as I sing it and as I hear others sing it in my head at night before I sleep.

"With my lightening bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin"

It's muffled to me, perfectly remembered in my head as to how they made it sound. They're so clever with their quivering voices and their magic touches.

Oh song, I love you for what you give me.

Let me listen before I sleep...