Topshop Dresses and Miss Selfridge Leathers.
Cigarette smoke and toxic kissing, with furry hats and grunge hair.
Walking to Tesco and falling asleep in Grandfather's Chair.
Money or lack of such. Discounts and freebies.
Wrapped in blankets in His car, swollen face and tooth ache.
Christmas films too early and soft daft snow.
Shots of southern comfort and walking to Downtown.
Curing broken hearts and mending dry lips.
Playing Chicken and filling out thick application forms.
Having the awkward hello with the thin brother.
Being Principal Boy, thigh slapping, awash buckling hero.
Leather shorts, Hunter wellies, faux Barbour and fur trimmed socks.
The prospect of Teeth Whitening Kits. The Idea Of Falling In Love.
Nike Joggies and Uggs. Forgetting Who You were and knowing Who You Are.
Running for the Bus. Missing the Bus. Drunk, cocktails. Drunk, shots. Drunk, Miller.
Reversing, hangovers and cups of tea, Get in's and Dress Rehersals.
Fixing colars, Sheer Blouses and Mum's hand made bands.
Long Blonde Hair made to look Short. Waiting For Friday.
Being This Happy.
Loving Every Bloody Minute.
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Friday, 26 November 2010
TwoHundred And FortyFive
Silence Please, Cause I've got something to say.
But You're not listening.
And I can call and call, text and write and You won't talk back.
The more I shout, the more I hesitate.
But You're not listening.
And I can call and call, text and write and You won't talk back.
The more I shout, the more I hesitate.
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
TwoHundred And FortyFour
Suddenly, out if nowhere Your life revolves around the next time You may see Them.
A week melts away, no longer seven days, but just spaces of time until You're together again.
It's not days and nights either but breaks and pauses between sleep and the waiting.
It can drag or fly past. You don't really feel like eating and when Your head meets Your pillow, You eyelids squeeze themselves shut, as You pray for the wall that seperates Your wait to fall down over You.
It's hard to describe and it's hard to ignore, difficult to make Someone understand. But They do, They must.
And although it drives You mad, it keeps You sane. Keeps You beating.
It helps You realize what was Real and what was a Trick.
All the others Before.
They were Tricks.
A week melts away, no longer seven days, but just spaces of time until You're together again.
It's not days and nights either but breaks and pauses between sleep and the waiting.
It can drag or fly past. You don't really feel like eating and when Your head meets Your pillow, You eyelids squeeze themselves shut, as You pray for the wall that seperates Your wait to fall down over You.
It's hard to describe and it's hard to ignore, difficult to make Someone understand. But They do, They must.
And although it drives You mad, it keeps You sane. Keeps You beating.
It helps You realize what was Real and what was a Trick.
All the others Before.
They were Tricks.
TwoHundred And FortyThree
I don't care what anyone else thinks.
You are waaaaaaay too handsome for Me.
You are waaaaaaay too handsome for Me.
Friday, 19 November 2010
TwoHundred And FortyTwo
On Your knees, will You Pary for Me?
I'm awfully worried, and feel like I'm faling very very slowly.
But I'm falling all the same.
It is rather exciting because it wasn't searched for.
Not even a little bit.
If I dide before I wake,
I would be very happy.
I'm awfully worried, and feel like I'm faling very very slowly.
But I'm falling all the same.
It is rather exciting because it wasn't searched for.
Not even a little bit.
If I dide before I wake,
I would be very happy.
TwoHundred And FortyOne
All I want to do is listen to Pon De Floor and tell You to shut the Fuck up.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
TwoHundred And Forty
You see I had forgotten Where all My sense had Gone.
And then I remembered I had left it with You.
TwoHundred And ThirtyNine
I thought I'd give You something to read.
I need to fill You in on a few things.
And to be honest, I hope that You can understand or at least, Help Me Out.
I'm about to break an Unwritten Law of My very Own.
I'm gunna write the wee story as if You and I are sitting in the 24hour Tesco on a freezing cold night in Joggies and Hoodies, in Your wee car with Lil' Wayne singing away.
I'm going to look You straight in the eye and 'fess up.
So, remember My blog about the Text, and about
the boy's in the text. And how, that night after reading the creepy text I met a nice Boy called R.
And we hit it off and it was lovely. He's really nice, like, he is.
But something felt, too dull. It was just waaaay too easy.
So I was quite pleased though, because Ross was lovely, and I liked him alot.
Well, atleast I thought I did.
So then, One of the boys who was mentioned in the text, G, was confronted by a very Mad E at Plush the Sunday after this Saturday and He was mortified, and in His ashamed state he emailed me to appologise ....
So We got talking back and forth a few times, and then He asked for My number...
Now in My head, You would interupt Me here, and then I would tell You
"Wait, let Me finish - Gohd"
Right so He got My number and we text a good few times and then He asked Me to Do something On the saturday,
I hummed and hawed over it. I just wasn't sure.
But I said yeah.
So the week progressed and I was texting R and G... yeah I'm not proud either.
And on the Friday I was going to see Saw with R, which was cool, We had a really cosy night, and I felt pretty settled. And like I had kind of decided that if and when I did see G it wasn't gunna come to a head. (You would laugh at this)
That's not what I mean, You creep.
Like it wasn't going to come to anything.
And then Saturday came, and I had thee most fun.
It was just nothing like I expected.
At All.
He just wasn't who I thought He was.
And oh, can He kiss.
And for the first time since He Who Shall Not Be Named, I felt something when I kissed him.
And then I went to R's on Sunday and just couldn't get into the same frame of mind. Could'nt not feel guilty, or sad, or not-his.
It had happened. I had totally lost what I needed.
And now all I had was want.
Then on Sunday I saw G, and we drove and drove, and then I confessed, like I am now, and He seemed, kinda sad, But he told Me things.
About Himself, and About who He is and what He wants.
He tells Me He likes Me and that I make Him Happy.
He tells Me pretty much every night before I fall asleep.
And I like it. Alot.
Now, in the car something Could happen.
Part of Me thinks You're gunna be so mad, and You'll think I'm stepping on toes and You'll want me to just leave it. Leave it all alone.
And another Part of Me thinks that You'll smile and nodd quietly and shake it all off and not care.
I just wish I knew.
So then No matter what I would be trying to make you laugh, and hoping We could go into Tesco and Buy sweets.
Please, because I've wanted to tell You all week.
And all I want to do is drive over and See You so You can either Shout at Me or Give Me a cuddle.
And that I can try and make You feel even a little bit better.
That's all I want.
I need to fill You in on a few things.
And to be honest, I hope that You can understand or at least, Help Me Out.
I'm about to break an Unwritten Law of My very Own.
I'm gunna write the wee story as if You and I are sitting in the 24hour Tesco on a freezing cold night in Joggies and Hoodies, in Your wee car with Lil' Wayne singing away.
I'm going to look You straight in the eye and 'fess up.
So, remember My blog about the Text, and about
the boy's in the text. And how, that night after reading the creepy text I met a nice Boy called R.
And we hit it off and it was lovely. He's really nice, like, he is.
But something felt, too dull. It was just waaaay too easy.
So I was quite pleased though, because Ross was lovely, and I liked him alot.
Well, atleast I thought I did.
So then, One of the boys who was mentioned in the text, G, was confronted by a very Mad E at Plush the Sunday after this Saturday and He was mortified, and in His ashamed state he emailed me to appologise ....
So We got talking back and forth a few times, and then He asked for My number...
Now in My head, You would interupt Me here, and then I would tell You
"Wait, let Me finish - Gohd"
Right so He got My number and we text a good few times and then He asked Me to Do something On the saturday,
I hummed and hawed over it. I just wasn't sure.
But I said yeah.
So the week progressed and I was texting R and G... yeah I'm not proud either.
And on the Friday I was going to see Saw with R, which was cool, We had a really cosy night, and I felt pretty settled. And like I had kind of decided that if and when I did see G it wasn't gunna come to a head. (You would laugh at this)
That's not what I mean, You creep.
Like it wasn't going to come to anything.
And then Saturday came, and I had thee most fun.
It was just nothing like I expected.
At All.
He just wasn't who I thought He was.
And oh, can He kiss.
And for the first time since He Who Shall Not Be Named, I felt something when I kissed him.
And then I went to R's on Sunday and just couldn't get into the same frame of mind. Could'nt not feel guilty, or sad, or not-his.
It had happened. I had totally lost what I needed.
And now all I had was want.
Then on Sunday I saw G, and we drove and drove, and then I confessed, like I am now, and He seemed, kinda sad, But he told Me things.
About Himself, and About who He is and what He wants.
He tells Me He likes Me and that I make Him Happy.
He tells Me pretty much every night before I fall asleep.
And I like it. Alot.
Now, in the car something Could happen.
Part of Me thinks You're gunna be so mad, and You'll think I'm stepping on toes and You'll want me to just leave it. Leave it all alone.
And another Part of Me thinks that You'll smile and nodd quietly and shake it all off and not care.
I just wish I knew.
So then No matter what I would be trying to make you laugh, and hoping We could go into Tesco and Buy sweets.
Please, because I've wanted to tell You all week.
And all I want to do is drive over and See You so You can either Shout at Me or Give Me a cuddle.
And that I can try and make You feel even a little bit better.
That's all I want.
Monday, 15 November 2010
TwoHundred And ThirtyEight
Juggling, is an art form in it's own right.
But it always helps to know what You are Juggling.
You wouldn't let a Blind Man Juggle sharp objects without letting Him know,
Would You?
No.
So how is this different?
E supports one side, which I think Your face would twist at.
And no one knows the other to support Them.
My guilt is slowly crippling Me.
And I don't know how to Juggle.
But it always helps to know what You are Juggling.
You wouldn't let a Blind Man Juggle sharp objects without letting Him know,
Would You?
No.
So how is this different?
E supports one side, which I think Your face would twist at.
And no one knows the other to support Them.
My guilt is slowly crippling Me.
And I don't know how to Juggle.
Saturday, 13 November 2010
TwoHundred And ThirtySeven
Haha, What a disappointment You turned out to be.
Let's see how fast the Phone rings now.
Let's see how fast the Phone rings now.
Monday, 8 November 2010
TwoHundred And ThirtySix
This My way of saying Goodbye.
Cause I can't do it face to face,
I'm talking to You before,
No matter what happens now,
You shouldn't be afraid.
Beacuse I know today has been the most perfect Day I've ever seen.
TwoHundred And ThirtyFive
It all happened very fast.
But I was there, with sober breath and tired thoughts and My feet were ddddancing.
And there He was.
Boy from; Train, Pub, general Ek-ness.
Dark short hair, Dark brown eyes, sallow skin. Chunky Grey Cardigan, white tshirt, Nice blue jeans, Cons.
He want's to talk.
And we talk and talk, and Go home and make cups of tea and watch The Hills.
Exchange number, and then, say Goodnight.
"Goodnight,"
"Night."
And on Sunday We meet to eat chinese food and watch The Xfactor and The Only Way Is Essex.
He's quiet, and He's a wee bit older, but, He's Lovely.
He says his R's funny.
Almost skipping them in some words, like arm and pretty.
But I'm pretty damn happy as We wrap arms.
But I was there, with sober breath and tired thoughts and My feet were ddddancing.
And there He was.
Boy from; Train, Pub, general Ek-ness.
Dark short hair, Dark brown eyes, sallow skin. Chunky Grey Cardigan, white tshirt, Nice blue jeans, Cons.
He want's to talk.
And we talk and talk, and Go home and make cups of tea and watch The Hills.
Exchange number, and then, say Goodnight.
"Goodnight,"
"Night."
And on Sunday We meet to eat chinese food and watch The Xfactor and The Only Way Is Essex.
He's quiet, and He's a wee bit older, but, He's Lovely.
He says his R's funny.
Almost skipping them in some words, like arm and pretty.
But I'm pretty damn happy as We wrap arms.
TwoHundred And ThirtyThree
I watched His wildest dreams come true and not one of the involving You.
I did You know, it's happened right infront of Me, it's Crippled You and You bloody know it.
Look at You now, You seem so sad.
Maybe You deserve it.
I did You know, it's happened right infront of Me, it's Crippled You and You bloody know it.
Look at You now, You seem so sad.
Maybe You deserve it.
TwoHundred And ThirtyOne
Want You to make Me feel Like I'm the Only Girl In the World.
Only Girl In The World.
Sunday, 7 November 2010
TwoHundred And Thirty
From Sean Kelly to Sean Thompson
7/11 1.47 am
" Stay away from Claire Marshall, She's for Me, Greg and Nick"
Well no one told Me.
Massive sad face.
7/11 1.47 am
" Stay away from Claire Marshall, She's for Me, Greg and Nick"
Well no one told Me.
Massive sad face.
Saturday, 6 November 2010
TwoHundred And TwentyNine
I can't decide if I should Laugh, Cry or Punch Someone in the face.
I think it's just lack of sleep and working so much.
Maybe I just need a big cuddle and someone to be really nice.
I'm missing lots of Things today.
I think it's just lack of sleep and working so much.
Maybe I just need a big cuddle and someone to be really nice.
I'm missing lots of Things today.
Monday, 1 November 2010
TwoHundred And TwentySeven
I need to say this.
You are a terrible Friend.
Sometimes.
Sometime's it's like havingg a conversation with Myself.
You are a terrible Friend.
Sometimes.
Sometime's it's like havingg a conversation with Myself.
TwoHundred And TwentySix
Quick! You're going to be Oh so Late!
Please! Hurry!
At first I was Alice and then the Mad Hatter, and then I made my hair into ears and TaDa!
The White Rabbit.
TwoHundred And TwentyFive
But if You try to go Alone.
Don't think I'll Understand.
It's all very difficult isn't it?
So tricky, I think, to find a balance in everything whilst lots of things are changing.
I can't even look right now.
I'm too mortified for You.
Don't think I'll Understand.
It's all very difficult isn't it?
So tricky, I think, to find a balance in everything whilst lots of things are changing.
I can't even look right now.
I'm too mortified for You.
TwoHundred And TwentyFour
I like to paint faces.
It has to be said.
I also just finished a sketch book and it makes Me want to cry and cry and cry.
I feel like someone has just flipped a massive switch.
The creative juices, they are... flowing?
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