OneHundred And NinetyFive

There's a small part of Me, that whenever I see Their name flash on My phone wants Me to through the damn thing away. Stomp on the screen, delete the damn number.

I don't think about Them when they aren't around. I remember them. Somthing flicks past in my head, but I do not dwell on Their face. Do not think of what They have done, or what They are doing.

Until They phone, or write.
And suddenly.

I just want Them to Leave Me Alone.

OneHundred And NinetyFour

Theyr'e not blue His eyes, and They aren't green.
They change all the time. I hate it.
I hate that I can't say exactly what they are.
But I love that when I close My eyes over, and picture His smiling face.
I can see exactly what colour They are.
Wild and Happy.

He's so tall too, so tall and smart. His clothes always smart and His car never clean. White teeth, white white teeth that make mine seem yellow and dull.
Strong arms and curly hair. He's just so tall.

And He surprised He. He just turns up to see Me. To watch me dance around and feel a fool. He wants to be proud of Me. Like I am of Him when He plays, when He runs and trains hard. Smiling and chatting. He seems so pleased.

Dancing around tesco and sleeping in till 12.
We like to show each other off.

We like to be a We.

I wish I could show You all the colours that I see.

OneHundred And NinetyThree

We moved house.
No,
We moved home.
Try Again.
We were Evicted from Our House.
One More time.
Okay, fine.
We were Evicted from Our Home.

It's a funny thing, but it didn't bother Me. I haven't been too sad. Although boxes still lie in my room full of old fading fabrics. I seem to have no need for anything that could remind Me.

I've noticed that all I want is for us to be happy.
I don't care where Our home is.
It could be on the Moon, it could be in a shack. It could be in a tent opposite a dump.
As long as I can say that My family will be there. And always will be.

We have been lucky though.
Our new Home is rather lovely.
And it has been a great way to shake off the EastKilbride Hang-ons.

See Ya Suckers.

OneHundred And NinetyTwo

You know how at the beginning of some television shows there is a small clip to wet the apetite or to remind You of something that's already happened in the Show?

I'm going to need to write One, or Two or Three.

Because suddenly quite alot has happened.

Previously on insert witty Name here ....

OneHundred And NinetyOne

Ways to Escape Uni.

I feel I could write the book, on running away and playing the sacred game of Hide and Go Seek.
Luckily though, they do not care to Seek after Me anymore.

OneHundred And Ninety

I Hate This.
I Hate having to decipher and having to guess.
I hate knowing, and You don't know I know.

It's too hard.
And I keep blacking Out.

OneHundred And EightyNine

The Water Come Drown Me, I'm Done.

The water reaches nearly to the brim and I let My body sink deep, deep in.
I scrub and scrub.
Away washes His dirty, smokey hands. His Memory, the thought of being His girl.
And away goes the feel of Tight Hugs and Sore Hands.

My Skin is Clean and I don't want Either of You to Ruin Me Again.
Please don't do it.

But We can still Be. Even though the Waters Gone.

OneHundred And EightyEight

All I would like is some sleep.
Let Us sleep for OneHundred years.
Or even just till Monday.
I can't wait to leave this place. And get away from all these people that I hate.
I hate EastKilbride.
And I can't wait to say that I don't live there.

OneHundred And EightySeven

I'm tired.
I'm so tired.
I am so tired.
I am so so tired.

But My head keeps whispering slurred words of the Memory.
And I keep hearing this voice in My ear.










I needed to be selfish, for myself.
Sometimes people need to do what's right for them.


I need to do what's right for Me.
Need to do what's right for Me.
To do what's right for Me.
What's right for Me?

OneHundred And EightySix

All My things are packed.
And I threw away a lot of things that were weighing Me down.
EveryOne is exhausted. But not upset, No...
Not Anymore.
We now all know where We stand.

OneHundred And EightyFive

Baby You Can Have Whatever You Like.

OneHundred And EightyFour

White T-Shirts.
Vaseline.
Dry Shampoo.

Make quite a Good Picture.
Thanks Man.

OneHundred And EightyThree

It's only been a Year Man,
It feels like So Long.
That scares Me, Where the heck is it all going?
You know, Time?
I feel We're Running Out.

OneHundred And EightyTwo

You Should Come And See This New Adventure.

OneHundred And EightyOne

Can You See Me?
I know what I'm doing, it's been My whole Life since I was this Wee Size.
I've not Grown much Eh?

OneHundred And Eighty

This has been My Wake-Up Call the last few Mornings.
I'm upset that I can't paint the way He can.

OneHundred And SeventyNine

So there's alot to say, to tell to Give Away.
First of All;

Everything here is sort-of Crumbling.
Everythings Old and Worn and Everybody wants to leave.

So we're Going.

Second;

I didn't think I'd laugh so much on the Phone.
But I did.
You Man, haha, you make me Laugh.

Third;

I'm not going back to Uni.

I don't Think.

OneHundred And SeventyEight

They say She Slept for One Hundred Years.
And that Her hair was like the sun, Her lips as red, as the red, red rose.
They said that A Kiss would Wake Her.
And that They would Live Happily Ever After.

I don't want to sleep.
Or have lips so red.
I do not need a kiss to Wake Me
I just want to Live

OneHundred And SeventySeven

Laying it on Thick.
They're so bloomin' good at it.
Telling the story, for Those who don't know.
Filling Us All in, incase we had forgotten.

They're just waiting for Someone to Ask the all Important Question.
So that They can answer and Ruin Something else.
It's like a Dance, and only They and I know the Steps.

OneHundred And SeventySix

Answering the phone to the unknown.

'Clara, it's Me'

That's all I've been needing.

And I get off the phone and nothing seems as Dull as Before.
My Chest and Back feel loose and light.
My Mouth it Mumbled for the First time in a Long time.
You can't Beat It, can't Beat the feeling of Finding The Missing Piece.
Someone once said we were the answer to Each Other.

'Thank God It's You'

OneHundred And SeventyFive

My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

OneHundred And SeventyFour

I can't really.
I mean.
Big Giant Sigh.

Lips and Teeth and hot hot heat against our cold skin.
Lie after Lie after Lie after Lie.
It's all very confusing.
Suddenly I just want to...

OneHundred And SeventyThree

Dead.
Yep.
My Computer has Died.
Therefore I've Lost Every Single Picture.

And I'm kinda Glad.

OneHundred And SeventyTwo

I like being on my Own.

It's easier,

OneHundred And SeventyOne

The tennis balls roll of the bed, bouncing against the soft carpet.
I Don't Remember how I got Here.
I really can't.
Can't remember how I got to feel this way,
To be so lost in everything thay surrounds me.
To not know who You are.
Or Why You drag me around.
Theres nothing that I don't know, until You re-write it again.
I may not Know how I got here.

But I do know how to Escape.