OneHundred And Four

This is an Update.

Oh this week has made me Old.

Work and the lack of studying has ruined me.
But I must say.
Today I am happy.

I like my job, I'm excited about summer and my lack of plans.
I like my new found family. But I miss my Blue eyes and Foreign Accent
I want to go on a date and I want a first kiss.
The expression "I'm over it" Haha. I live for it.


Do you like my nails?
I've decided for definite to start a new blog.
Well a new Kind of Blog.

Please,
Please Don't Laugh At Me.

OneHundred And Three

I think I forgot who I was for a little while.
But don't worry.

I'm back.

OneHundred And Two

And only He knows where I really go.
Late at night, when there's nothing to be said.
Putting on some socks I sit and watch the sun come up.
I lose the feeling in my legs and hear the fox's lovers call.
My eyes may not blink for hours on end and all I can think of is all my lost friends.
All those people who did not want to know.
I know that who I am, is who I am.
All these ugly parts I hate are going to be loved and looked after.
Even if it is by me.
And me alone.

Please.
I do not write to get your pitty.
Please.
I write to make me happy.

OneHundred And One

This camera smells of the old.
Smells of things that have been and gone.
It has smudges from fingers that once lifted it to their blinking eye to capture something wonderful.
It is heavy now in my hands, and it makes a slow clicking noise.
It makes me happy when I see it.
Some one gave it to me, because for a tiny moment.

I meant something to them.

Well, at least that is what I like to believe.

OneHundred

Everytime I think of nothing something bad never happens.
Your eyes don't look right at me, skimming over every fine detail.
I haven't worn this lace dress in some time.
And when it slides over my skin I feel the need to run.
In bare feet across acres of woodland.
Birds twittering corrupt sentences of absolute hate.
My eyes have lost their color, black infects them.
The sweat beads across my forehead underneath this graying hair.
Heaving dry breaths, push and pull at my chest.
Now I am galloping.
Stop. There is a sudden stop.
Planting feet into the ground like roots twisting under dirt and grime.
Arms lay still and the fabric of this dress lies against my burning skin.
I have ran so far from Her.

That now I can not even remember Her name.

NinetyNine

The top of St.Vincent's street.
I turn and look back down.
And the Shutter of the eye snaps shut.
Why does He need to speak to me, I was perfectly happy to know that He'd forgotten all about me.
And the phone rings.


At least she sounds happy.
Thats all that really matters.

NinetyEight

She and He kissed each others sadness.
But He couldnt let anyone know.
He was betraying Her with She.
And now She can not kiss He no more.
She must find Him and fall so desperately.
Come, leave He and Her alone.

NinetySeven

And suddenly the world has stopped spinning.
Busted and worn my heart lies somewhere deep and dark inside me.
My eyes, they have lost their color.
And my body doubles over in my weightless sleep.
When i close my eyelids i see the same shade of blue.
I want to scrub it clean. Get it away from me.
Get them away from me.
They are my biggest mistakes.
And they all see blue.

NinetySix

It's all been very eventful.

Where have you been?

NinetyFive

Please, please please.
Come back and sing to me, to me, to me.
Come on and sing it now, now.


It's all gone.
I don't know where I am and I'm cold.
The skin on my arms is pale underneath this light.
And all I want to do is tell you everything I know.
But I don't think you care.
I don't think you're even here.
Wait, is it even You?

If you didn't want to know then you could have just said.
That would have been easier.
I'm not the same. And you didn't want to know.
It's quite easy to understand.
Why lie.
Your white ones are even blacker that you think.

You don't know me.
But I don't know you either.





Not anymore.

NinetyFour

My whole body is warped. And I listen to something that you wrote.
"Amy, shines light our of her eyes. And God knows, I see it all of the time."

C- I kissed you last night

I know you did

C- You okay with that?

Why wouldn't I be?

C- Because of last time.

Lets not talk about last time.

C- like if I was to suggest meeting up when we were sober, I'd like to think similar
things could happen.

It very well could.

NinetyThree

I didn't take this.
But I like this.

"The Clyde. Scotland's answer to the Thames."
I hope I make you as happy as you make me.
Lets pretend that this is how We are all of the time.
Okay?

If I want it this badly, why can't it just be true.

NinetyTwo

You can take it all from me,
Go take it all.
Money and clothes and the roof over my head.
Take away my feelings.
Make me feel better,
or make me feel worse.

Just please.
Please don't take my Sky.

NinetyOne

I have so much to say.
Are you ready?

Ok. Let's go.

EightyNine

Are you alright?
Did you really mean that?
What you said before?
About you and me and...
You're not making any sence.
No, thats not what you said before.

Just - please, tell me the truth.

And they whispered No.